Looking Ahead

We've been here over a year and a half and while we don't have a certain date or a plane ticket, we know our experience here in Brazil is coming to a close.  That knowledge has caused a certain switch in our thoughts as of late.

We've spent the past year and a half looking ahead...looking ahead to the vacations we planned to take in Brazil, to visits from our families, to our trip to visit home last summer, to the day we can order pizza over the phone without having to rehearse our Portuguese in advance, to the day we realize we're thinking in Portuguese, to the day our children are fluent, to the day we realize life here has become just as normal to us as life in the States had been.....and once we reached all those milestones, I guess that's when we had to start looking ahead in another direction.

Suddenly we find ourselves looking ahead to the day we repatriate, that is, move "home."  For most of our time here we've avoided a significant amount of discussion about our home and conveniences in the States.  Mostly for the sake of the children, we wanted to avoid bringing up memories that would make them homesick, or detract from their experience "living fully" in Brazil these 2 years.  Besides, comparing never seems to be a good idea, especially when comparing what you have with what you can't have at the moment. But now with our return on the horizon we've been bringing up more memories.  We have more conversations with the kids about our neighbors, about our home on the Big River, about some of the things we left behind.  We started talking about the school they'll attend in the States, and how it is an 8 hour school day.  We started making plans for trips and long term vacation ideas within the States.  We talk about food we remember and places we want to go.  Part of this is preparation for them (and us).  As odd as it may sound, although life in the States will certainly be more convenient and comfortable, it won't always be better.  As always, learning something new exists adds to and also detracts from the existence you knew before.  There is some truth in the grass is always greener. 

Besides, the little people have little memories.  Especially the girls don't have a lot to pull from.  There is a list of people M recalls from time to time, and with our discussions of home as of late she's been able to recall a fact about our home or a toy we left behind.  But she still has no idea what a dishwasher is.  H, of course, knows only what we told her.  She was 13 months old when we left the States.  But the beauty of little ones is they reflect what we express.  We were excited about coming to Brazil?  So were they.  We're happy to be going "home?" So are they.

And so, we look at pictures on the internet of their future school.  We make plans for those first few weeks back.  We've even perused an online grocery ad or two.

There are parts of us that will be sad to leave.  There are things we never got done, places we never made it to.  It's finally easy to live here.  We're adjusted, we speak the language, we have friends, we have things "figured out."  But we also know it's time.  Grandma is waiting for her sleepovers.  The kids need some things we cannot offer them here, culturally, educationally, socially.  The pregnant momma needs Mexican food.  Details like that.

So we made a list: What We Want To Do Before We Leave Brazil.  Some things are surprisingly simple...eat churrasco, go to a favorite park and pick and eat tangerines, donate our sheets and extra toys to the orphanage.  Some are more complex...a vacation in Rio.  But I think we'll be able to check it all off.  The list is posted on our easel. It reminds us that our time here is limited, that we still need to make the most of what we have left.  We're looking ahead to the day we're back on American soil, but we're not ready to rush it.  We really believe God gave us this opportunity to change us for the better, and we're not sure His work in us here is done yet. 


This is us in October 2011 beginning our adventure at the airport waiting on our flight to Brazil.