Are You Bored Yet?

Silly me, I thought being stuck at home with no school, no extra curriculars, no play dates that we would get bored.  We would run out of things to do, and I would hear a near constant lament of “Mom, I’m booooored!”  I spent a better part of a Sunday afternoon early in quarantine writing up this loooong list of ideas of things to do.  I posted it in our kitchen.

Guess what? Apparently we don’t have time to be bored, because I can count on one hand how many times I’ve heard this complaint in the 7 weeks we’ve been under quarantine.  Maybe it’s because they know their mom, and complaints like that usually get rewarded with extra chores to help you feel less bored.  Maybe it’s because they have good imaginations and this hasn’t gotten old yet.  I don’t know, but for now, I’m leaving it posted.

I’m hopeful, but realistic about what summer will look like.  Usually full of summer camp, swimming lessons, Vacation Bible School, parades, festivals, zoo visits and water parks...I expect this summer to be slower, closer to home, and depending on perspective, less fun.  So the list stays. 

Shelter-in-Place, continued

Well, it looks like we’re going to be doing this is a bit longer....30 days longer....at least.  Really, I’m okay with that.  Apparently a recent poll showed that a majority of Americans are okay with current stay at home restrictions.  We’re all looking forward to “getting back to normal,” however, most of realize that it is going to be anything but normal.

So, now we’re talking about always wearing masks in public, recreation limited to groups of 2 people, and safe procedures for picking up belongings from schools that remain shuttered.  Not really anything “normal” there.  

But here I sit, looking out the window on a breezy afternoon while 5 kiddos are finding ways to all play together.  They are finding time for each other.  They are imagining, listening, sharing, and breathing lots of fresh air.  At this very hour, under “normal” circumstances, they’d all be sitting in a classroom...maybe doing repetitive work, certainly not enjoying nature, and each other.  Will they be academically behind in the fall? Maybe.  Will their friendships be awkward after such a long break?  Probably.  Do I still believe that being “stuck together” is a gift? Yep.  With my whole heart.  

We keep saying, “When you’re old and telling your grandkids about the COVID 19 pandemic...”  But I wonder, what will they really remember? What will they tell their grandkids?  What are the stories that are going to be passed down in 75 years when elementary school children have to interview an elderly relative about the pandemic.

I hope they say, “We were sad.  We were sometimes afraid.  But we prayed more.  We played more.  We loved more.”

I’ve started interviewing them just to document the fears and joys, the ups and downs of this season of their young lives. Stay tuned.  I plan to share what I find.

Date Night

After 12-ish years of babies and mayhem, DaddyHealy and I had finally gotten back to monthly date nights for the past couple of years. Sometimes it’s a nice dinner, and sometimes just coffee and budgeting.  We almost never go to a movie, because the opportunity to actually talk to each other uninterrupted is the whole point.

Enter COVID-19, and a home-quarantined family of 7...none of whom ever seem to run out of things to say....which means even less opportunity to talk to each other uninterrupted.

Since being under home quarantine, we’ve been taking daily family walks in order for the kiddos to burn off all their pent up energy.  It’s also helpful for the grown ups to make up a few of those 10000 steps that we’re not getting.  It’s hard to accumulate very many when your office is only 10 steps from the bathroom and 20 steps from the kitchen.

Family exercise is a good habit, and one I hope we continue even after stay at home orders are lifted. However, once in a while, that evening walk is for adults only.  It’s our “date night” during this season.  I’ve always believed that a strong family begins with a strong couple.  I want my kids to see what marriage really looks like.  It’s not perfect, it takes effort, but love is a choice.  And I chose it every day, because I made that commitment, because he’s amazing,  and because there is no one I’d rather be stuck here with.

Teenager’s Guide: Surviving Social Distancing

D is not your typical social butterfly. He generally finds books to be more reliable companions than peers. It’s just part of who God made him to be.  At times like these, he’s not feeling terribly distanced from his normal social life.  However, the rest of us are stuck here putting up with his insufferable sense of humor.

The other day he told me that “Shelter-in-Place” is not lonely when you’re “ Hangin’ with your peeps.”    

Super Spellers

If there is one thing that drives H crazy, it’s schoolwork that is too remedial.  For her, that include most of the curriculum of 3rd grade.  The up side to home quarantine for her is getting that annoying schoolwork out of the way before 9 a.m.  Her teacher does her best to provide some extra challenges.  More advanced kids get a more difficult spelling list....a list which H never studies.  Yet she’s never missed a word on a spelling test all year.  We were not surprised that she won her classroom spelling bee this past January.  After all, she’s a great speller, and she’s so proud of her two-time regional spelling champ big brother.  She has her sights set on  being the next Healy to make it to the big stage at the National Spelling Bee.

 We were, however, more than a little surprised when she took on class champs from all grades 3-8 in her school spelling bee...and WON!  I love her and I believe in her, and I fully expected that she would one day be our school rep at the regional spelling bee...but perhaps not quite yet.  I mean, she is 9 years old!  She was, undoubtedly, the shortest kid competing in that school gymnasium on January 30.  Every time she spelled another round, we were amazed and proud of her efforts.  It’s fun to watch her spell.  She has a rhythm that is all her own.  I’m so used to D’s quiet confidence and methodological question order.  He truly was a spelling pro.  H has a simple, polite and humble style when at the mic.  I think perhaps no one was more surprised than her when she found she was the last speller standing.  

After that she began studying at an even higher level, preparing (as best as a 3rd grader can) to take on the top 70 ish spellers in our bi-state region.  However, the regional spelling bee was not meant to be.  Scheduled for March 21, it was first announced that spectators would be limited in order to keep the attendance to less than 250 people, next the event was delayed, and finally, cancelled.  She was disappointed, to be sure.  But she’s 9. There are many years of spelling bees left for her.  So for now, she is filling her time with online drawing classes and working her way through baking cookbooks. 

Unfortunately, all those hours of studying spelling don’t change the fact that there are (albeit remedial) 3rd grade spelling lessons that need to be completed weekly.  This week H was required to play “spelling tic-tac-toe” with a family member.  The list of words made her roll her eyes, but that mean mom is a stickler for completing assigned work.  Not surprisingly, it was D who offered to play it with her.  That was fun to overhear.  My 2 super spellers taking turns quizzing each other on words like “sorry,” “happy,” and “buses.”   But there was a lot of chuckling going on.  I think he’s proud of his little prodigy. 

We are All Learning

Let me just say that I love this kid.  I adore her.  She is an amazing, brilliant, sweet, loving, and just fantastic kid.  But this sweet little sensitive one gave me battles for years until I finally figured out that she wasn’t just trying to be difficult (well, at least most of the time).  She really, truly cannot stand the feeling of a scratchy shirt, a tag in her coat, gloves with the fingers not perfectly straight, the seam in her sheets, the texture of cornbread in her mouth, and certainly not the wrong socks.  Or socks with seams.  Or socks that are too tight.  Or too loose.  Socks that are too tall.  Or too short.  Well, let’s just say socks in general.  My life changed dramatically when I gave up on socks and bought her a pair of crocs.  That is not an exaggeration.  Dramatically.

J practices rhyming words on the white board.

She has come a long way.  We both have.  I had to do a whole lot of adjusting my perspective.  She had to learn a fair amount of “just deal with it.”  We finally reached a place where we can co-exist and not make each other crazy.  I search the globe for tolerable socks, and she agrees to wear them (only in the winter or with a uniform).  I cut out every single tag, she learned to respectfully ask rather that hysterically scream for help with uncomfortable clothing.  Basically, I had to come to the point where I was willing to put in a whole lot of effort, and an equal amount of sympathy.  Likewise, she had to agree to try to control herself and learn to tolerate....just a little at a time.  This has been a 5 year process.  I still have to be patient, allowing extra time for wardrobe adjustments.  But I finally realized my tolerance of her sensitivity is a model for her to tolerate all the things that make her feel out of control.

I’m still learning.  Sometimes I have to step back and look at her issues as a condition, rather than an annoyance.  I find that when I treat it that way, I tend to display an appropriate amount of understanding.  And when I’m understanding, she’s better able to communicate and work together toward a solution.   During this quarantine, she has expressed that the “scritch-scratch of the pencil” makes her cold.  Really? Really.  Writing with a pencil gives her literal goosebumps.  Think nails on a chalk board shivers.  It made me wonder....how on earth does she survive 7 hours at school with pencil in hand?  I hadn’t heard of this until now, since we’ve started schooling at home.  It made me really proud of her, because even though it’s driving her crazy, she’s dealing with it.  And I think if she was having hysterical fits about the pencil “scritch-scratch” at school I’d have heard about it from the teacher.

But for now, I am the teacher, so we discussed a reasonable solutions.  She writes with pencil anything that has to do with handwriting, or needs to be turned in to the teacher.  For everything else, we use a white board or crayon.  There is no sense occupying her mind with the irritation of the pencil when she could write 3 + 5 = 8 in a crayon and be focused on the math.  It’s a happy medium.  And I’m so happy we were able to address it together.

Math time is more successful with a crayon.

Happy Easter from the Healy House

Divine Play

Sometimes it’s hard to understand the whats and whys of God’s divine plan. I often explain to the little Healys that we don’t always see the whole picture from God’s perspective, and that if we could, we would understand.  There are no mistakes in God’s plan.  And yet, in a season such as this, where people are dying, incomes are lost, we are confined to our homes, and schools are shuttered, every day it becomes increasingly difficult to understand why God allows such suffering and disruption.

But I need to remember that sometimes those whys can be answered in the smallest of  joys.....such as 75 degree spring afternoons when you can play in the sprinkler instead of sitting in a classroom....

I love that here at home, they have the freedom to be small, to be free, to be themselves, and to enjoy the sunshine before the rain! ☀️ 

“Palm” Sunday

H & D showing off our “palms” last Sunday.

We’re beginning to get used to celebrating mass around our television each Sunday.  Although I never thought I would be able to say that, we’ve had several weeks’ practice.  I’m afraid there will be many more to come.  With some trial and error, we’ve found an online mass that works well for our family.  Our requirements were pretty basic, good sound quality, music and responses we are familiar with, ability to stream over our living room TV, and a tolerable length for some of the smaller,  more distracted Healys.  We sit, stand, kneel, pray, respond, and sing. This is definitely the most unusual worship experience any of us have encountered, but now, more than ever, we need to stay close to the Lord.

This past weekend was Palm Sunday, and it brought to mind our first Palm Sunday in Brazil.  That year we found out that, unlike in American churches where church-provided palms are blessed and distributed to the faithful, everyone had to clip palms from their own yard (or their neighbor’s yard) and bring them to church to be blessed. This year, I kind of wished we had palms in our back yard, because there wasn’t going to be a public mass or distribution of palm branches this Palm Sunday.

However, we were able to find these amazing printable palms on the internet from another Catholic mom who, upon searching for the same thing and not finding it, decided to paint, scan, and share some palms herself.  I love that even now, in the most isolated season of our entire lives, everyone is still out there, supporting one another in our faith, our families, our journey through this dark valley.  Let us not fear, but Hope in the Lord!

Quarantween

 For several weeks I had been a little worried about what a birthday under quarantine might look like. As the infection spread and shelter-in-place orders were extended, it became obvious that our darling tween wouldn’t be taking a batch of brownies to school to celebrate turning 12 with her class, or having a sleepover with a bestie to mark the occasion.  About a week before her day, we started talking about what she’d like to do for her birthday, under these most unusual circumstances.  That’s when I realized that I hadn’t needed to worry.  I’d forgotten how incredibly mature she’s become.

A trip to the party store wasn’t on the essential outings list, but she was undaunted. M created her own birthday decorations.  She arranged an amazing island theme with some items we had on hand and a lot of her God-given creativity.  She decorated the house like we’d all taken that island get away that no one can go on these days.

 I’m not sure whether or not the bakery is closed, but we are choosing to only eat food we prepare at home.  Although I offered to make a variety of treats that I knew we had ingredients for, she chose to make her own birthday cake... cinnamon coffee cake according to Grammy’s recipe.  It turned out beautiful, and mighty tasty!  I told her she is getting some good practice for being a mom....decorating and making her own birthday cake.  Ha!

We did our best to make the day seem as special as possible...planning her favorite meals (as much as our grocery stock would allow), wrapping each small gift item separately so it took longer to unwrap everything, being fun and goofy (I’m talking about you, DaddyHealy), and ending it all with a family dance party until waaaay past bedtime. 

M goofing around with DaddyHealy

 Best birthday ever? I doubt it.  One that she’ll never forget?  I’m certain.

Since beginning online learning, she has to keep an electronic journal for Language Arts.  Her entry the next day made me so proud of the amazing young woman she is becoming.  She didn’t write about what was missing from her birthday, what she couldn’t do, or what she didn’t get.  She wrote with such joy and gratitude for the small, intimate celebration with 6 very special people.  She shared the joy of receiving homemade gifts, having celery sticks with peanut butter with dinner, and taking a long walk with Mom and Dad.  I love her for 1,000,001 reasons, but she never ceases to amaze me.  God certainly made her one very special soul!

Starting the day off right with her breakfast of choice!

More goofing with H

The only gift she really wanted is this “Mary of Fatima” dress for her doll.  Thanks Grandma! You rock!